Dear Ryan,
Spending time with you the other night brought back all the memories we have shared over the years. I've realized I've made a huge mistake and I want you back.
I understand that you needed space to do things in your life that I didn't approve of. And I gave you that space in the past few months. It's just that visiting with you during your crack-addicted years as a middle school teacher for the New York City Board of Education has made me remember the times we've had and it's made me want to take care of you and be there for you as you get your shit together.
I'd be happy to get you a new cat and to help you remember to feed it this time. I'll cook pasta with sauce from scratch with you and go out with you on weeknights. Just stop picking up the first girl you see alone at the bar. I'll also make us a pot of coffee in the morning before we both trot off to our respective middle schools so that you don't have to drain the pot in the staff room and have all the other teachers look down their noses at you. In fact, why don't you just stay out of the staff room altogether?
I'll help you write your lesson plans so that you can stay on track (which I know is hard because I like going into depth with my lessons too, but it is important in 7th and 8th grade history to stay on track because the curriculum is packed so tightly). I'll help you through that Civil Rights binder that your department head gave to you and you never opened being that I'm very interested in learning more about Civil Rights and the two of us can geek out together in the evenings while we read and write lessons about history over a glass of a nice French wine. Because responsible adults drink red wine from Europe or a good cocktail made with high quality liquor. They don't smoke crack, especially not on a school night, Ryan. Come on. You know better than that.
I'll make you forget your ex and the fact that she's getting married because the two of us are two cool middle school history teachers living in NYC. We are the dynamic duo and our friends will say things like, "Laura and Ryan are coming out tonight! I love when they come out- they're so cute together." I will make you ever so happy, Ryan. And don't worry about it, you will make me happy, too. You will tell me every day how hot I am and how much you love that I am a history teacher. You will make the bed every morning because it is a habit you have. I will watch you do push ups every morning and I will sweep and you will mop because you like mopping better than sweeping.
On weekends, you will tinker around our apartment, fixing things that need fixing and building things just for the fun of it. You show me how to do things, like change a tire and keep plants alive.
Ryan, I've made a big mistake. I don't mind that you dabbled in being a driver for movies or for the mob in LA and I totally understand why you veered off the teaching path to try out politics. Just go back to teaching history so we can be a cute history-loving-middle school-teaching couple and just end it there. We will put money into our retirement and bask in our tenure together. We will appreciate the fact that if you break your arm, I can take you to the hospital because we both have insurance.
And if we ever have adorable little Martinez-Goslings, we will never mention to them those dark months you had of throwing a ball at the coach, punching a wall, befriending and buying crack from your student, and trying to force yourself on your coworker at 2:30 in the morning on a school night. Because, since then, you've changed so much. And I will help you through it.
Let's go for it. I miss you.
xoxo
your (hopefully) girlfriend again,
Laura
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