The thing is, I feel like I get so much more out of my evenings at home if I read the Union newspaper or my book about healthy eating, write in my journal or on here, or even if I'm checking out my charts on Cafe Astrology; it's all better than stupid Kim and Kourtney taking New York with their spoiled and televised lives. It's just bad, rotten TV and I don't need it! The only shows that I think are worth my time are on channel 4 and I don't even get reception for those because I have a 1990s tube TV. Totally fine for me. I will be watching DVDs only on my 22 year old television. As for my rerun addiction: fuck you. Thank you but no thank you. I accept that I have a problem and now I am releasing you. I have a busy world right outside my window and two bookcases full of books, half of which I haven't finished. I've got things to do.
Is it crazy that I've been planning on doing this for about a month and I'm procrastination because I'm a little terrified? With any addiction, it is never a good time to quit... there are a million excuses to keep my cable: it's cold outside... hmmm... that's the only one I can think of. whenever people talk about quitting drinking, they always say it's not a good time because there are events coming up; their sister's wedding, the holiday season, their best friend's birthday or they are stressed due to a divorce, losing a job, stressed at home. Point is, there is never a good time to break an addiction.
They say the best way to break an addiction is to replace it with something else that is healthier. If you smoke every time you leave your house, maybe you pop a piece of trident in your face hole instead, you get my point. So, I need a replacement for when I come home... I'll take up letter-writing. I'll write letters the old-fashioned way and sent them through the United States Postal Service. There. That's killing two birds with one stone- writing to far away loved ones and supporting the postal workers .
I could work on getting a job at movie theaters making popcorn since I am so fucking good at it. Right after school, I came home craving popcorn and I made the shit out of that popcorn today! No butter, loads of nutritional yeast, garlic, sea salt, and paprika. It was the best ever. Of course, I ingested 3 whole tablespoons of vegetable oil in the process of it all, but, summing it up in two words: WORTH. IT.
Maybe I can get an ice cream maker and work on making the World's Best ice cream. I'll call it Ice Creamski and I will make flavors to appeal to the Polish population in Greenpoint, such as Sweet Beet and chocolate covered kasza. We can make little packages of ice cream filled pierogis. I will be RICH-AROOSKI. Then I'll have a spin off brand called Helado Bueno and sell it on the South Side to the Latina population. Flavors will be Sweet Plantain and arroz con leche. Why am I not a millionaire?
My last plan is to organize the demise of Bloomberg because he is so incredibly evil and disturbing. And by demise, I mean his downfall, not his death. But that is for another time. For now, simply positive TV replacements.
In conclusion, I am a fool to have wasted time in front of the stupid television the way I did. Goodbye 500 Days of Summer that plays every day on E! Goodbye episodes of Friends that I put on just for background noise and that I've seen more times than I'd like to admit. And lastly, goodbye to you beautiful duds, the Kardashians, because life is short and you are boring. Beautiful but boring.
Here is a shrinky dink I made while I wasn't watching TV... it's one of the only things I can draw:
No comments:
Post a Comment