word association

Sometimes, when I ask my students to play word association, they just don't get it.  Although, I think everyone gets word association; we just might not want to share the associations that our mind makes with the world.  Everything reminds us of something.  It's how we relate to the world around us.  But sometimes, you might not know where a memory is coming from or how it is being associated.

And what is it about music that can bring back memories that you didn't even know you still had stored up in your little noggin?

I got a text from my coworker about Glee.  I started a Glee club at my school and the universe put in my path a partner in this endeavor...  not just someone who is willing to help out, but a bona fide musical person who sings and teaches and plays and writes music.  This person is so excited about Glee club starting this week that I've become accustomed to her excited texts about the songs we should sing and ideas of how we should structure our meetings.  So, then I thought to myself about what songs I wanted to do with Glee.  I put on some music and began to listen to whatever came my way from my library and pretty soon, I was memory trippin'.

What's funny is how you will associate a memory to a song.  This song may never have even hit the ears of the person it reminds you of, but in your mind- in your memory, that person is completely intertwined with this song.  Still the Same, by Bob Seger reminds me of a friend who I don't think cared one way or another about this song.  Every time I hear it, though, memories of this person come flooding into my mind.  They come in a vignette-type of slideshow, starring this person and the theme that makes up her life as I've interpreted it.  Pictures of her laughing and walking around and doing everyday things just kind of float around with the song.

Every time I hear Dangerdoom, I think of one of my ex-boyfriends.  He had mentioned that he liked them, so every time I hear it, I think of that summer we started talking.  I think of my blue 1994 corolla that I drove around in the summer that I got to know him.  I can feel the Portland summer as I listen to Dangerdoom, hearing the ring of my phone (before smartphones) go off as he calls me.  For some reason, I am always driving south on 33rd, right by that grocery store with the yellow sign whose name escapes me.

Bob Marley's High Tides brings me even further back into the late 90s.  It reminds me of college and a boyfriend I had when we were just getting to really know each other.  I think about his room in Delhi, New York.  I can remember the fall weather as we walk to his place from the dorms where I lived.  He had stone floors in his kitchen and a really big living room.  There was this sadness about him that I worried about and wanted to make go away so these lyrics became my message to him... "in high tide or in low tide; I'm gonna be your friend.  I'm gonna be your friend."

David Bowie reminds me of Portland.  My friend and I would play Bowie on the jukebox at Slabtown.  I bought my first Bowie CD my first year living there, living in Northwest.  I would play it on my stereo, which was huge and I had shipped all the way out from New York.  We don't have to do that anymore.  I haven't bought a CD in a long time and I no longer own a stereo.  Times change, huh?

I guess the truth is, you don't know what two things you are going to be associating in the future.  You might not know it, but just because you watched Will and Grace a few times, your then roommate  thinks about you every time she ever hears anything about Debra Messing... true story on my part.  Or you sing American Pie one time at karaoke and you will forever be remembered as the girl dressed up in the vintage red, white, and blue tennis dress singing that song because you thought there was supposed to be a superhero party that night.  

When I want to remember carefree spring days of driving around with my friends when we had not a care in the world, I'll always just ask for Mistadobalina...  ooh ooh Mistadobalina!

world is to oyster as foliage is to __________.

The world is our oyster!
People say that all the time:
"What are you doing this weekend?"
"I don't know; the world is my oyster!"
Ok. I lied. No one says that in real life.
Ok. I lied again. I say it. I say it often. When I say it, it's often because this part of me believes that the world is my oyster and everything is just there for the taking. If I want to have a crazy night out, I can do that. If I want to hop on a train and visit some random city, I can do that too. The truth is, I don't do those things as often as I'd like to. I say "the world is my oyster" to try to motivate myself. It's like a gentle reminder, "life is short; really live." But here's the thing: I fear I don't know exactly what that means.

If you were to talk to members of my family, they'd say I was a wild child who can't be tied down; or as my father says, "you get antsy. I give you another year before you move again." My grandmother has this old school phone book and by my name, there are phone numbers and addresses in the double digits. I left my Long Island home and never looked back. I went to many different colleges and stayed up late nights and did things that just wouldn't be allowed in the real world, I studied in London, backpacked for almost a month, interned in Alaska, moved across the country to Oregon, then six years later, moved back east to NYC. I was directed into a major that would allow me to mostly always be in high demand, while I could still practice what I want to really do. I got mostly all the jobs I interview for (as a kid and as an adult). And then it all just sort of stopped. Life in the fast lane seems to be over. I have taken off my helmet.

I woke up two Novembers ago and realized I hadn't used my passport in over a decade. Granted, in that time I was playing on the west coast, but I remember coming back from London with that feeling. I had been bitten. I wanted... no needed to see more. The word AGAIN came to mind and it's funny because just as I was about to write it, I looked over at a print I have hung on the wall next to my bed. It says AGAIN on a roughly drawn blue sky above roughly drawn green grass; the colors are rather jarring. I hung that print on my wall a few years ago and have sometimes looked at it, thinking, that's actually not that pleasing to look at... why did I buy that? Should I take it down? But I never do. And just now, I realized why it's there.

While I may look back at my life and think there's little I would change, the truth is, when I was in it, I didn't see things that way. Right now, I work at this rock and roll middle school with kids I enjoy seeing. I live in one of those rare apartments that is comfortable to live in and to pay for. I have a roomate that is so easy to get along with and fun to have around. I have Manhattan just a hop and skip away. I have wonderful people who work right across the street from me. I have friends from different areas and times of my life to hang around with. And while none of this might be life in the fast lane material, it is what it is for now. Who knows where my next trip will be? Who knows what will happen in two years, two months, or two days from now? I think the saying, the world is your oyster, really is just a reminder to take chances in your life and jump on opportunities without having too much fear. But it doesn't mean that every day and night has to be epic. And that's what I seem to forget. Because, really, if you're cracking oysters every day and every night, you will be tired and your stomach will hurt. You need these periods of rest to counter the crazy.