salt & fat

I'm a meat-eater. I'm also a dairy-lover. However, I'm oversensitive to the plight of the factory farmed animal. Every few months, I'm reminded of where the burger I'm eating actually comes from and then I decide to take another stab at vegetarianism. I would kill to be able to handle a vegan diet, but alas, I cannot. I was vegan for three & a half months back in 2009 and what happened? I ended up with a diet consisting of vegan ice cream and Sweet & Sara vegan, peanut butter smores. It was bad news for this girl.

I logged onto facebook a little while ago and saw a picture that my friend just posted of a pig on a stick hanging above a fire, its skin all shriveled, it's face all, well, dead. I felt sad when I saw it. One time, a few of my friends and I were walking to a bar, late one night. A truck was turning a corner. On this truck were crates stacked one on top of the other, each crate containing chickens, packed in so tightly they couldn't move. I had flashes of the Holocaust... and I cried in public and had to remove myself and walk home. Over-sensitive? Yes. Can I help it? No.

So, why am I such a hypocrite? I care so much but I can't seem to stop myself from ordering a cheeseburger and bacon and eggs. And right after I saw that picture on Facebook, I thought to myself, that's it, I'm going vegetarian again... and then I realized that I was going to Salt & Fat tonight. It's been a plan for two weeks so I can't suggest another place.

What I think the universe is trying to tell me is, "TOUGHEN UP YOU FUCKING BABY! YOU THINK YOU'RE THE ONE MAKING THIS GENOCIDE OF FARM ANIMALS HAPPEN? YOU'RE NOT THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE!"

Jeez. The universe can be really bossy sometimes.